Anxiety is an emotion that involves a physical response and thoughts about the future (e.g. worry and what ifs) and the past (e.g. regret and guilt). Using the ABC model, we become aware of something, our brain processes that information, and the emotional consequence is anxiety, worry, and fear. Many times we have practiced the anxiety response so much that we may not even be aware of what we are thinking that causes the emotional response. Think of how we might react when entering an awkward social situation.
Anxiety can be so uncomfortable that we tend to avoid things that may start us feeling anxious. In fact, it is the avoidance of things that makes us anxious that reinforces the anxiety. For example, if I am nervous about speaking in front of a group, I might avoid doing it. When I avoid the situation, my anxiety goes down. At that point my body and brain have learned that avoiding the situation is a great coping mechanism and I start avoiding public speaking consistently. Unfortunately, over time, the anxiety increases and even spreads to other situations.
What are 3 situations you avoid because you feel nervous or anxious?
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The uncomfortable solution to anxiety is to figure out ways to expose ourselves to the very situations that make us anxious. This sounds like a terrible idea, especially because we already know that avoiding the situation has helped in the past. But, if we tolerate the discomfort, our body and brain can learn that we can handle the anxiety and even become much better at managing anxiety provoking situations.
The challenge is to figure out a way to gradually increase our exposure to anxiety provoking situations while we practice a calm approach. This is where learning the relaxation response is crucial for overcoming anxiety. We spend so much time learning how to GO that we may lose track of how to truly relax. So, the first step in treating anxiety is to practice feeling calm and relaxed. You may want to review the worksheet on Meditation.
William Brock, PhD 